It happened suddenly.
Little man reached out for the bowl. Water bowl? Dog food bowl? I can't even remember which this time.
I had it.
I saw red.
My hand reached out, swatting him on the bottom.
Once.
Swift.
Jackson's first spanking.
He looked at me, questioning, surprised. I had never touched him with anything but love before. Mama's hands were for hugs, high fives and happiness, not for hurt.
His tears rolled down his cheeks, piercing my heart.
"This is not the kind of parent I want to be," I thought.
"How can I look my son in the eye and tell him 'we don't hit' when I hit him?"
Jackson's last spanking.
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Must be something about those pet bowls. They were the cause of Ting's first spanking as well!
ReplyDeleteThe dog food bowls are the bane of my existence! J threw my iPhone in the water! Luckily my husband saved it in time!
DeleteMy mom spanked me only once. I was three and ran out into the street. She said I never ever did it again.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how others spank because it didn't work! He kept doing it. It wasn't just a little swat either! Broke my heart.
DeleteI struggle with that too. I hate the idea of it and I really want to find some kind of discipline that doesn't involve spanking.
ReplyDeleteWe've been using timeout successfully! He gets one warning. He does bad behavior again we explain why activity is not ok and set him in his crib for a minute. He usually cries because he knows he is in their alone and in trouble. Took two days of dedication and about five timeouts - hasn't touched the bowls since!
DeleteI tried it too and it wasn't for me. We are using Love and Logic instead.
ReplyDeleteLove and logic? Exactly what it sounds like or a special type of style?
DeleteI know what you mean sometimes we let anger take over us, and we do things we didn't want to...I once spanked Nolan but he couldn't even feel it through his thick cloth diaper LOL...lesson learned not good for either of us :)
ReplyDeleteI don't think Jackson felt it either - I think it just hurt his feelings. It didn't make him stop and I don't like it so it was an easy call for us to stop!
DeleteSam: we use Love and Logic techniques in education all the time. Visit their website: www.loveandlogic.com
ReplyDeleteThanks Kate!! Just read over their site... I've been doing it without even knowing haha!
DeleteWish I could give you advice but I'm really here to see what others have said. I need to learn too!
ReplyDeleteI use time outs instead. I give warnings first, then they need to sit down. So far it seems to work.
ReplyDeleteOh, I'm so sorry. I actually just wrote about yelling at my son. He told me I scared him. Seriously. How small do I feel?
ReplyDeleteHang in there. We're all human.